The Domestic Violence Action Centre is committed to working alongside same sex couples who are experiencing domestic and family violence. DVAC is aware that domestic violence occurs at the same rate in same sex couples as heterosexual relationships. We understand the reporting of domestic violence in same sex couples is under-reported due to identifying their sexual identity and not feeling as if they can attend or seek support from a mainstream service.

We would like to ensure that the Domestic Violence Action Centre will work alongside any person who identifies as being female who is experiencing domestic and family violence.

Some of the tactics used in same sex relationships are as follows:

  • Using Coercion and Threats – threatening to out you to our family, friends or colleagues alongside threatening to leave, harm themselves or commit suicide; making or carrying out threats to harm you or family; driving recklessly to frighten you; or stalking.
  • Intimidation – making you afraid by using looks, gestures, actions to reinforce homophobic, biphobic, or transphobic control; destroying or breaking things or displaying weapons.
  • Emotional Abuse – questioning if you are a ‘real’ homosexual, humiliating you, playing mind games, making you feel guilty, putting you down and name calling.
  • Isolation – controlling what you do, who you see or talk to; limiting your outside activities, monitoring your whereabouts, not letting you go anywhere on your own, saying no one will believe you because of your sexual orientation or preference.
  • Denying, Minimizing and Blaming – making light of the abuse, saying it did not happen; not taking accountability for their actions or blaming you for the abuse.
  • Using Privilege – treating you like a servant, making the decisions in the relationship, defining the roles in the relationship, cutting off your resources or threatening or using the system against you.
  • Economic Abuse – Placing their name on joint assets, preventing you from getting or maintaining work or education, using your bank accounts without your permission, making you get loans, not working making you support them and making you ask for money.
  • Using Children – threatening to tell authorities or ex partner that you are LGBTQI, making you feel guilty about the children, threatening to take the children and using the children to relay messages.

Power and Control Wheel for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans Relationships